XV

Happy Children’s day!

It’s been a while, too long.

Life has been happening. Nonacademic writing has been challenging to find time for for the past (almost) two months. This past (almost) two months have been something of an endurance run. The last few weeks had started feeling like the psychic equivalent of the burn in your quadriceps from pulsing in a squat.

Last week, I finally sat the exam I’d been prepping for. Getting it out of the way tipped the valve a little bit — eased some of the pressure. But, as soon as I clicked submit on the final paper, I knew that I needed to write again as soon as possible- I’ve needed this fix.

Despite this itch (significantly stronger today, given that it’s been 8 days since the exam), sleeping has definitely been a higher priority activity, but you know what? I deserve it. Anything else would have just been grueling torture. There’s nothing like a ridiculous number of naps to get one over the sleep deprivation leading up to an exam and the anxious energy from waiting for the results. The valve finally flew off this evening after the results came in. I almost passed out from the relief.

Finally, here on the page and it’s actually fitting that it’s children’s day today because party suppose dey.

I’m a little disoriented, though; I can’t lie. Certain tasks require you to distort yourself; contort to fit precisely into the grooves and edges of the required effort- ultimately, “it takes what it takes.” This exam was one of those for me. In its wake, I feel like I’m emerging from a fog, like regular-scheduled programming can only just begin again. Can anyone else relate? All of that to say that I didn’t have a plan; I just started typing. I just wanted to be writing again and say that I’m back, and I’m feeling really grateful.